Posted by shrinking violet on June 6, 2005, at 13:03:35
In reply to Re: i'm the biggest » shrinking violet, posted by Jazzed on June 6, 2005, at 8:28:47
She *was* the "right" T. I don't mean "perfect," as there are no super-perfect-just-the-right T out there (some who think they are, but that's different!). She was definitely the right PERSON, at the very least. I remember my T asking me once, if I thought there was a "super T" or something along those lines out there for me. I told her no. I didn't mean that no T's are any good (which is how she took it), I just meant something like that "perfect" people don't exist, whether T's or not, and I'm such a horrid client that no t could deal with me. Then we seguayed into something, I can't remember how, and I told her she always reads me wrong. And boy that was a stupid thing to say, she said it must be hell sitting with someone every week who reads them wrong. She asked if I had any responsibility in her feeling that way. I told her yes. She was glad I said that. Then not long after that, in the same session, she said we should have one or two more sessions and that's all. This was back in March. So, yeah, it IS/WAS me. All b/c I couldn't manage to say what was really in my head, and in my heart, and in the pit of my stomach, and squirming in my chest. Instead I sat there, and let her project onto me, and it got worse and worse. And now I'll never fix it, and I'll never forgive myself for it. :-(
Yeah, um, advice: Don't go reading detailed notes you've made on specific sessions when you're still raw from an experience like this. *cry*
Anyway, I just wanted to defend her some. I feel like too many people are "bashing" my T lately and it isn't fair (not here, per se, more in-real-life, but it spills over, I guess).
Thanks,
sv
> If they can't handle it, they shouldn't be a T, ShrinkingViolet. Don't blame yourself, you are not bad, you were just in therapy with the wrong T, which is very unfortunate for you.
>
> (((((HUGS)))))))
> Jazzy
poster:shrinking violet
thread:507991
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050606/msgs/508518.html