Posted by littleone on April 25, 2005, at 21:55:22
In reply to Re: Using Therapy, posted by Daisym on April 25, 2005, at 10:37:52
I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a rough patch at the moment. I wish I could make it better for you.
I was thinking of you the other day after my session in relation to your post about just talking about the easier topics and avoiding the really hard one. And my thoughts are kind of carrying over to this thread too.
Over the last couple of months, I've actually been talking to my T a little (as in speaking, not just writing). But it usually isn't about important stuff. I'm only really comfortable speaking about work problems with him. I still need to do the other stuff in writing.
My T will often bring up the work stuff himself and get me talking on it, even if it isn't something that is bothering me on that particular day. I suspect he uses it to get the old vocal passages functioning then slip into a discussion about something else.
Anyway, I was telling him how I thought the work stuff had been talked to death already and I couldn't see how he could have been finding it interesting anyway.
He told me that the content wasn't important, it was the process that was important.
Now I get very confused here, but part of what he was saying was that when you small talk with someone (and all goes well), you feel accepted by the other person and you feel safe with them and a whole heap of other stuff. And I think he's using the process to build this stuff up and get me to form an attachment (geez, makes me sound like a barnacle).
I know that you are a lot further along the old attachment highway than what I am, but perhaps this could still help you a little.
If you really don't want to be delving into difficult waters in your therapy right now, you could still probably get a lot from talking about lighter subjects and gaining benefit from the process. Even if it is just to feel less alone in the world or to feel like someone understands.
If you do talk to your T about any of this, I'd love to hear what he says. I'm still really fuzzy and confused over the whole content vs process thing.
The other thing I wanted to say was that you could also use your sessions just to bawl or whinge or whatever and ask your T not to go too deep. Use them as a release so you function better outside of therapy.
It doesn't make you a bad person to whinge or bitch about someone. Especially if it then allows you to give needed care to that person without a build up of resentment.
By the way, I'm a big scaredy cat when it comes to feeling too. I wish therapy was easier than this.
poster:littleone
thread:489106
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050420/msgs/489546.html