Posted by messadivoce on April 22, 2005, at 19:04:48
In reply to Poll- How many T's offers physical comfort?, posted by happyflower on April 22, 2005, at 16:11:52
My first T was pretty stringent about touching. For a long time I wanted to be as far away as possible from him, and under NO circumstances did I want to be touched. Then I started having feelings for him, and I did have the desire to be held, and I was able to express that desire. He told me that he was sorry he couldn't physically hold me, but that he could hold me in other ways. And he did, with his eyes and his voice and his body language.
I asked him for a hug near the end of therapy, and he said he was happy to hug me. I know it was not something he wanted to engage in regularly. But if he had refused me I would have been crushed. It would have damaged our relationship.
My "current" T seems a bit more lax. I think that if I wanted to hug her she would be okay with that. She is a mother-type person, and I don't really have issues with mother-types, so a benign hug would probably be okay. I wish that I would have hugged her at the "last" session we had, even though neither of us knew it was our last, because of circumstances beyond our control.
poster:messadivoce
thread:488013
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050420/msgs/488112.html