Posted by sunny10 on April 20, 2005, at 12:28:01
In reply to Re: What're your parents like?, posted by Dinah on April 20, 2005, at 10:54:22
a couple of thoughts flew through my head while I read the posts...
Alex, maybe you ARE too focussed on "school" being "your happy place"... there are plenty of us here that find you quite socially adept. After reading your tale, I am even MORE impressed with you as a strong, loving person...Get out of the house more, sweet girl!!! (loving advice: tell me to go to h*ll, if you want!!!)
All- money does not equal happiness... having what you want is nowhere near as important as wanting what you have...
I think it comes down to the fact that BECAUSE my childhood did not allow choices for anything I wanted/needed, I do not even know where to begin figuring out what a need/want is or how to go about filling those needs and wants based on what I could afford monetarily. (I KNOW I speak for myself, here, maybe others, too)
Okay, so I need food, water, shelter. According to the experts I also need loving relationships (with myself, with others), and a sense of self (including hobbies, et cetera) to be well-adjusted. The rest is "wanting"... jewelry, cars, et cetera. Th money only matters for what you want. The rest should always be free. HARD to achieve, maybe, but free.
A quick story. I used to watch Animal Planet on cable when bored/nothing to read/nothing else on tv that I wanted to see. I would watch a Lifetime movie if I wanted to "free tears to releaase stress", et cetera.
Now I have moved. My rent for a jr one-bedroom apt. is more than it was when in a three bedroom house, splitting the rent with my SO. So I was forced to do some thinking. And I realized though I "wanted" cable tv, the rabbit ears antennea brings me in all of the local channels clear as a bell, so I didn't "need" cable. And from there I realized that I only really enjoyed/looked forward to one tv show a week (and it's on a local station)- the rest of the time I was using tv as an escape to avoid finding hobbies and as an excuse to avoid crying over my own problems and release my own stresses.
I hate "placing blame" on y parents, but I have to admit to still being angry that I am still trying to erase negative thought pathways and create positive ones at 37 ys old!!! It is an awfully long time to have to pay for someone else's mistakes. I realize that my parents were as screwed up as me, but I work d*mned hard to make sure that my son knows that he is loved and respected as an individual (ooooh, and he's thirteen- that is sometimes very difficult work, indeed!!!!)
So those are my thoughts.... hope they mean something to at least one of you...
poster:sunny10
thread:485457
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050420/msgs/486981.html