Posted by daisym on February 17, 2005, at 1:00:04
I'm needing to tell the stories again and to talk about the intrusive memories -- over and over and over again in therapy. I've told the stories before, at least most of them, but the difference is in the intensity of the details. I keep writing about the colors in the rooms, or the sounds outside, or the smells - especially the smells. I told my therapist today that it felt like I was oozing the memories out of my pores, instead of my brain. I wrote a whole long thing about "the smell of unwanted sex."
He said he thought the body held memories in a completely different way than the brain does and we need to respect what my body is telling us. I kept apologizing for needing to go through it again. He said it was really OK, he could feel the difference, like we were down yet another layer into it. He said he is absolutely certain that this is what we need to be doing, going over and over and over it again and again and again. I said I got stuck after I wrote it down...what do I do with it all? His response was that I bring it to him and we talk about it, as much or as little as I wanted to.
So I'm writing about things in a new way - using the 5 senses to capture the details, not editing what comes up. It is kind of scary, because I can *feel* it, smell it, hear it...and the fear is very, very present. He said to go slow, he doesn't want me to get in too deep, especially at night without him there but it is an amazing exercise.
Does anyone else do this? Remember with your senses? I feel sort of nuts...
poster:daisym
thread:459151
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050211/msgs/459151.html