Posted by Poet on February 15, 2005, at 19:50:21
In reply to My T bought me flowers....but I wouldn't take them, posted by shrinking violet on February 15, 2005, at 18:01:28
Hi SV,
I'm so sorry that your session was so painful. I wish I could give you the magic answer as to how to open up in therapy, but as you know, I am struggling to do the same.
I told my T to stop saying she cares about me. She said she'd agree not to say it out loud, but I couldn't stop her from thinking it.
I think that the flowers triggered the part of you that screams *Don't care about me. I don't deserve to be cared about.*
I think that her hurt look was saying *SV gets scared when I let her know how much I care about her. What can I do to make her more comfortable with me?*
I know that your time with your therapist is limited and I absolutely understand how you feel you're wasting that precious time. I feel that I have wasted much time and money on a project (myself) that is hopeless.
My T thinks that I am not hopeless and your T would not keep trying to reach out to you if she felt you were hopeless.
I like Frida's idea of reading your post to her. Or can you email her? Or read it to her on the phone? Maybe on the phone would be more comfortable than in person when you are sitting with her?
I wish so badly that you and I and everyone who has talker's block in therapy could just let it all out. My T tells me that keeping it in is harder, but I can't convince myself of that.
It's okay to babble mail me. I don't have computer access much these days, but I promise to check when I can.
Thank you for always caring about me. I care about you.
((((SV)))))
Poet
poster:Poet
thread:458364
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050211/msgs/458426.html