Posted by Dinah on January 7, 2005, at 13:50:34
In reply to Re: Hospital, posted by vwoolf on January 7, 2005, at 12:57:01
We're leaning against hospitalization right now, though that could change with additional stressors being added.
He convinced me that though he thinks I'm stronger than I think I am, that he does think the stressors and demands right now are more than I can cope with and he's willing to work with me based on that assumption. Even though I won't do sensible things like admit defeat and ask for a leave of absence. Somehow death seems better. I'm not sure why that is.
He bullied me into calling my pdoc and together they bullied me into starting an antidepressant though I don't feel depressed. They both say desperate can be depressed. Oh joy, withdrawal to look forward to. And I'm to start taking Risperdal daily, which is all *I* think I need.
He gave me the words to say if my office calls and yells when they find out I've been incapable of reasonable work for some time now. He swears people cut you slack when you've had a death in the family. I'm not sure I believe it.
I am really a bit skeptical because my presentation of my requests for help or admissions of distress are too restrained for most people to take seriously. I'm so glad he does take it seriously. He said I don't need to physically disable myself for him to be able to see I'm disabled functionally right now. I'm not sure why that makes me feel less frantic about needing to hurt myself, but it does.
Sadly, I had to put my whippet to sleep. I got a second opinion today and he agreed with me. A very small chance of recovery wasn't worth the distress she was suffering.
So the risperdal's hit my system already and i'm feeling a bit better. especially since i haven't heard any screaming and the weekend is coming. no chance of anyone yelling from work.
Cross your fingers for me. Maybe I'll be able to stay out of the hospital. And with a double finger cross, maybe I'll find a way to lighten my load that won't bring personal disgrace on me.
He's pretty good with me in a crisis, I have to say. Though he also drives me nuts by insisting I take responsibility.
Thanks for all the good thoughts. I still need them.
poster:Dinah
thread:438292
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050105/msgs/439032.html