Posted by Toph on January 3, 2005, at 9:07:36
In reply to Re: Idealizing » Dinah, posted by mair on January 2, 2005, at 10:39:55
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> But there are elements of the second and third also. On occasion, Bob has definitely disappointed me, which 1)justifies the use of the armor; and 2) has forced me to separate Bob from Babble - I've never reached the point where I felt that the harm of Babble (as maybe perpetrated by Bob) has outweighed the value of Babble. I mean this in an empirical way. I know this is not true in every individual instance, and certainly not true at all times maybe for any of us.
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> And while not always successful by any means, I do try to distance myself from those vicious admin wars. My observation is that many, if not most, of the people who leave Babble in anger, do so as a reaction to discussions which have occurred on that Board.
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> MairWhen I was new here, I felt (right or wrong) that most of the boards were clicky. So I gravitated to Admin where it was easy to join one side of a fight and feel appreciated by members of that side. Needless to say I crashed and burned quickly. I almost left PB. Then I took a risk and jumped on a few threads elsewhere, and surprisingly no one told me to get lost. Heck, I even start my own threads now! What is interesting to me is I have had a few therapists and invariably the beginning sessions are fights over rules before I take a risk of sharing some part of myself. Only one therapist told me, in her own way, to get lost.
As for Bob, idealizing him, seems to be in part because he hides behind a veil. I suppose he has to. But here we are talking about him and the dynamics of his website and he just watches. That sort of bursts the idealization bubble for me.
-Toph
poster:Toph
thread:436049
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041228/msgs/437158.html