Posted by daisym on October 24, 2004, at 0:35:32
In reply to What kind of attachment do you have?, posted by Pfinstegg on October 23, 2004, at 11:24:24
I echo the part that "this is so hard to do!"
I think I put it in a post above that my therapist came right out and told me that I have an insecure attachment to him. This came up because I needed (and got) a lot of verbal reassurance from him this week. The other thing he did say was that he could see that I "just" needed it and really wasn't in any shape to explore "why" I needed it. Thank goodness.
I'm pretty sure that my younger self is securely attached to him. But she freaks out the adult with her wants and needs. So "we" continue to struggle internally, which only feeds my insecure attachment at the adult level. *sigh* This is a very painful place to be.
The other thing is that I *think* I have a maternal attachment, that need to regulate my internal state by merging with my therapist for a while. It could be paternal, I guess, but it doesn't feel that way right now.
I ask for the rules around this attachment at leasst once per month. I want the ONE CORRECT answer about how attached is too attached and I also want to know how to survive it when I'm hurting and not with him. (Ok, intellectually I KNOW I will, and I know there isn't one right answer but I want it...stomp, stomp!)
Another question is how do you, if you do, explain this intense attachment to anyone IRL? They just don't get it.
poster:daisym
thread:406353
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041016/msgs/406532.html