Posted by alexis6 on September 11, 2004, at 0:19:26
In reply to Re: My therapist terminated me by an email-what to, posted by Susan47 on September 10, 2004, at 23:34:47
It's hard for me to see this from that perspective, although if this is true I do want to-and he did, even though he felt distant and sort of uninvolved with me, seem like a really kind person. He loved working with children, when he was telling me about the work he'd done for the school board his whole demeanor changed and he seemed really nice and relaxed. That's what made this so shocking-it seemed like the coldest and cruelest thing imaginable, and I thought I had to have done something atrocious to make him act this way.
What hurt the most was that after I'd called him and left a message, sobbing and clearly completely upset, he wouldn't even dignify it with acknowledgement, just saying in another email (that sounded written to show to someone else, full of "I will respond in this email to your voicemail"-type stuff) that "he was sorry I was concerned". He made no arrangements even for me to talk to someone else about this, which is really negligent. I know that in all likelihood this is the worst thing he's ever done in his career, and maybe that makes me feel like he must have had good reason to do it.
Maybe I'm not being honest about this. I was probably seductive on some level-I did want him to care for me and like me, and felt like he didn't at all, and I think I tried to manipulate him into it. I did something weird that's hard to explain-and at the time I really believed it too-I tried to convince him I had BDP, and sort of exaggerated things I did to make them conform to the diagnosis. It makes little sense to me now-maybe I thought if my problems were more serious, he would have to be more involved with me than he seemed. And the very last time I saw him I talked about the difficulty I had breaking up with boyfriends. I wondered why he looked so concerned about that, I guess it explains the cowardly emails. I don't think he was wrong to feel that he wasn't the right person for me, I just wish he had respected me enough to do this properly.
poster:alexis6
thread:389416
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040905/msgs/389501.html