Posted by pegasus on April 23, 2004, at 23:32:11
In reply to Second of two homework assignments, posted by Dinah on April 23, 2004, at 17:35:58
Tough, tough, tough. I hear you on not wanting to change your grooming or clothing just to conform. But then, it sounds like sometimes you do wish you fit in better, if only for the sake of your son.
You seem to be thinking about it from the the perspective of the other people: why don't they just look past the attire and grooming and see the real beautiful you? But, the thing is that you can't control what they're going to do or think. You can only control what you're going to do or think. If we assume that at least some subset of them are not going to look past the outer appearance, then you have the choice to dress in a way that will help them relate to you better, or dress as you want, and accept that those people won't relate to you as much.
I think everyone will agree that you don't *have* to change your appearance. You've been proving that for some time, right? If you wanted to, though, you could choose to change your appearance.
So, then, is there any reason for your own self that you actually want to? Fitting in can count, if that's truly something you'd enjoy at times. Maybe if there are consequences to dressing differently that you'd enjoy, that's not morally wrong, is it? I mean, there are consequences to dressing the way you do now, and it seems as though you're at least a tiny bit unhappy about those consequences at certain times. So you *could* see dressing differently at times as something that you're doing for yourself.
Or not. Just maybe another way to look at it.
pegasus
poster:pegasus
thread:339292
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/339403.html