Posted by Medusa on January 18, 2004, at 5:57:19
Whenever I start working on a sensitive area, in therapy or on my own, my suicide ideation goes wild.
This is the case right now, and I'm looking for ways to turn down the volume or switch my anti-progress/ambivalence thinking to a different channel while continuing the work. I have lots of self-soothing techniques and have learned a lot of healthy coping mechanisms. That's not really what I'm looking for now. In some ways, these methods don't show sufficient respect for the positive function of my resistance to change.
"Channel-switching", obsessing about something other than suicide whenever the suicide ideation starts, works in lower-stress situations. But suicide ideation is the default. When the pressure rises, there it is.
I accept that the suicide ideation is going to be present and rotten until I get through what I need to get done. So to some degree, it's head down and plow through.
But it's really, really annoying. I know I can't be the first person who's gone through this and has managed to work through the really high-risk themes and get to the other side.
poster:Medusa
thread:302233
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040116/msgs/302233.html