Posted by Susan J on November 14, 2003, at 9:15:17
Hi,
Maybe this is the wrong board to post on, but...
I've been feeling a lot better the past 6 weeks or so. Lots. Scary, but nice. I haven't gone to my therapist in the past month and never told her why not....I haven't felt the need, but more importantly, I've been way too busy at work. And since my concentration sucks right now (side effect of WB I think), I can't focus enough to sit down, make the call, and schedule the appointment.
But the *real* problem is why does this type of act actually *paralyze* me? It happened with a project at work this summer. I didn't do it, didn't do it, and then when I finally mustered the motivation, I was scared to death to do it, because I knew as soon as I would turn it in, it would bring it to my boss' attention that I hadn't done it all fricking summer.
Well, he finally figured it out himself, came in and yelled at me, told me to get off my butt and do it....and that really helped me! Like the damn burst and I could *move* again....
I don't get it. I get this *paralysis* of behavior quite often now, usually when I'm stressed. I don't want to make the appointment cuz I'll have to face my therapist and explain *why* I haven't made any appointments recently.
And I know she won't care, really, so it's all something happening inside of me....It's like being a procrastinator on crack or something....I procrastinate myself to failure, when I used to just butt up against the deadline last minute but still get the job done. But that paralysis feeling is the same...just much much worse now....
Anyone have a clue what my problem is? :-) Well, at least *this* problem.
Thanks,
Susan
poster:Susan J
thread:279674
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031114/msgs/279674.html