Posted by aloe on November 10, 2003, at 14:36:58
In reply to Re: what exactly defines an emotional breakdown? » aloe, posted by fallsfall on November 9, 2003, at 9:55:48
>Talk to him about how you expected to be referred to a therapist and ask him what he thinks. This can be said in a way that doesn't say that you don't like him. "I'm a little >confused. I was expecting that you would prescribe meds for me and then refer me to a therapist, but we seem to be doing therapy here. I'm just curious, why did you make that >choice?".'
That is an excellent suggestion of a polite way to ask him. I also wonder if it might be better for me to have longer sessions (currently 45 mins) maybe less frequently. It takes us so long to get down to the root of the problem, and as soon as we do it's time to go and I'm left sort of hanging in mid-air for a week until my next appointment. What's interesting, though, is that I usually come to a positive conclusion/resolution within that week. Maybe this is how it's supposed to work.
One of the reasons it takes us a while to get to the heart of the problem is because he does this thing where he closes his eyes while I'm talking. It's really kinda funny. That's probably just his way of concentrating and listening, but I'm sort of conditioned to take that as a sign that someone is falling asleep. So I stop talking. His eyes pop open and he asks me a little question and I never end up finishing my original thought. It's frustrating. There he is telling me what I need to do in response to what I said, and I try to explain, "I know that, I was just about to say that's exactly what i did." Or I'll try to describe how i feel and I throw some words out, then I'll say "No, that's not really what I mean. I think blah blah blah is more accurate," but then he'll go with my first explanation, which wasn't accurate. I feel like asking him if he even heard a damn word I was saying. In my head I'm saying "I've only got 45 minutes and I've got issues, mister, don't waste my time telling me things I already know!" Sometimes I just go on and on about feelings and things that I think and blah blah blah. At the end he'll say, "I'm not really sure what the question is." I say, "Me either." There wasn't a question. I was just getting things out. So confusing. Therefore I usually leave feeling frustrated, like nothing has been resolved, and like my thoughts and emotions have been stirred up uselessly. It's hard to settle them back down. I waited a week and I want help and I don't feel helped.
Anyway, thanks also for letting me know I don't need to be committed. On Friday I was actually looking forward to being committed so that I wouldn't have to fit my therapy into a structured 45 minutes once a week. And I wouldn't have to leave the Dr's office all weepy with the other patients staring at me. And I wouldn't get dumped out after 45 minutes and while in the midst of sobbing; I could just curl up in my bed right there. I don't mean to trivialize conditions which require long-term hospitalization. These are just thoughts that go through a naive person's head when she doesn't really know what to do.
sorry for all the long posts.
poster:aloe
thread:277524
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031030/msgs/278256.html