Posted by fallsfall on November 9, 2003, at 20:13:26
In reply to Re: Oh man/ fallsfall, posted by kara lynne on November 9, 2003, at 15:36:27
She's going to say "I was having a personal crisis, and you happened to see me twice during my crisis. I try very hard not to let my crises affect my work, but sometimes I'm not as successful as I want to be. There is no excuse for me to miss your appointment. I try very hard to make sure that never happens. But this time it did happen, and you were hurt, and I'm sorry that you were hurt - it was never my intention to hurt you. I will redouble my efforts to see that I don't forget your (or anyone else's) appointment again. I hope that you can forgive me for my mistake.
I was distracted also during your last session. I was listening to the conversations in the hallway because I was hoping to hear news about my crisis. This, too, is not acceptable behavior, and again, I apologize to you. Please know that I am interested in what you have to say, and that I try to understand you so that I can help you better.
I hope that you can understand that my behavior was not a reaction to you - it was a reaction to things in my personal life. I understand, though, that you may continue to feel angry and hurt - and it would be quite reasonable for you to feel that way. If you do continue feeling badly about this, I hope that you will talk about it with me. Talking about these kinds of things are an important part of the therapy process. If you were feeling badly, but we didn't talk about it then it might affect the therapy (I might not be able to help you as much). I don't want that to happen.
I am human, and I do make mistakes. These issues were mistakes, and I do apologize for them."
HOWEVER
If she was *really* unhappy with you, then she would tell you that a particular behavior of yours was making it hard for her to concentrate on what you are saying, and maybe help you figure out how not to do whatever that is.
If she felt that you *were* boring, then she might say that she wondered why you were talking about what you were talking about. And ask you to explain why this is an important topic for you (since if she saw this as an important topic then it wouldn't be boring to her).
Supposedly, if they don't like us they can still help us. So "liking" or "not liking" isn't really an issue.
If she felt that she couldn't help you anymore, then she should refer you to someone else who can help you.
THE BOTTOM LINE
She wouldn't be employing you, offering you space in her office for your practice, introducing you to the other lady at lunch on Monday if she didn't want you to succeed. It is quite reasonable for you to be hurt, but if you understood that she was sorry that you were hurt - that she didn't mean to hurt you - could you accept her apology and trust that she is *trying* to look out for your best interest?
poster:fallsfall
thread:277342
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031030/msgs/278009.html