Posted by cubic_me on October 29, 2003, at 5:48:55
In reply to Re: Thought blocking, posted by thistlethorn on October 28, 2003, at 14:23:50
I know how that fear feels. I get really nervous, even though I know rationally that there is nothing to fear. Maybe its because I was knocked back by people when I was younger and I'm still afraid.
It's so frustrating - often between sessions I'll think of something that I want to discuss and I'll know how I feel about it and what I want to say, but when I get there I just cant think - the moment when I knew what I wanted to say seems so far away that I can no longer see it. I'm just looking into blackness.
I think the description of the character in a room is a good one, though I dont think you make this room feel emtier. Its definately fuller because of you.
> cubic_me, you describe the experience so well. It IS isolating ... and baffling and intensely, intensely frustrating.
>
> For me, just having another person's undivided attention can be terrifying. It's almost as if I revert to some lower animal form: I am alive. My heart keeps beating. My external senses keep working. But all that is human inside me takes flight, and I can't feel anything but fear. At these times, thinking, let alone speaking, becomes nearly impossible.
>
> I once heard the actor Anthony Hopkins describe a character he had played in a movie as someone who, when he walked into a room, the room became emptier. That is how, I imagine, people would describe me, too.
>
> Do you have any idea why your mind closes itself off like this?
>
poster:cubic_me
thread:260815
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031011/msgs/274550.html