Posted by fallsfall on October 28, 2003, at 9:58:52
In reply to I Hate This..., posted by DaisyM on October 27, 2003, at 21:56:41
> ...was the last thing I said as I left today and my Therapist said "I know but keep coming."
>
> I guess I keep thinking that if I just say the right thing, reveal the right thing, the pain will stop. I'm looking for that Movie Miracle when everyone has the "AHA!" all around and hugs and feels better. The past if forgiven, or rectified and everyone lives happily ever after.
>
Wow. Wouldn't that be wonderful. I'd really like that too.> It just isn't true. I feel like I keep taking the bandaid off of the wound and it hasn't healed...and it hurts like hell. The worse part is I am so alone with all of it. I know I need to talk about all of this "stuff" but when I do the depression gets deeper and darker and it is really scary.
>
It really does hurt. It is really hard to balance pushing with safety. You want to get it over with, but you have go slowly or you won't be able to work on it at all. I'm sure you've talked about this pacing stuff and the depression that your "stuff" causes explicitly with your therapist?> I wish I could cry -- maybe that would help. I have the week off which may have been a mistake. Too much alone time. Too much time to think. :(
> I hate this. :(I cry. It doesn't help much.
Since you have a whole week, is there something that you always wanted to do (even if you don't feel like doing it now - I don't feel like doing anything)? 5 years ago how would you have finished this sentance: "When I have some time, I really want to..." Can you try to do that during this week off? I think it would take me a week to clean out my email. Get some new art supplies (it doesn't matter if you are "good at it" - the process can be wonderful). Go visit old ladies you don't know at a nursing home. It probably will take some effort to be busy, but I'm thinking it would really be worth it. Check out "The Women's Comfort Book" for some good ideas.
Be good to yourself. You WILL get there.
poster:fallsfall
thread:274092
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031011/msgs/274252.html