Posted by DaisyM on October 22, 2003, at 10:26:39
In reply to Breakthrough: inner child, posted by Poet on October 22, 2003, at 10:00:22
Poet,
Sounds like a tough night...I'm sorry for your sadness. I think though that you must have been ready to both feel your/her sadness and integrate them together last night. The memory of the poem is a big signal that "she" (your inner child) tried this before but "you" weren't ready. Whatever reasons you had for abandoning (your word,not mine) her were, you must have needed to protect yourself. Survival instincts are so strong, both for physical and psychological protection.Maybe the next step is to figure out how to not blame the child for whom you've become but look at the experiences of the child, both from her perspective then and your adult perspective now. This is really hard I know...and oh so painful. It is easier to blame ourselves, no matter whether it is us in the past or present. I'm glad you wrote down what you are feeling. My experience is that things boil up and over and I have what I now call "crisis-clarity". But, I can't sustain it and a few days later I'm calm (numb?) and can't get back to the feelings so what I verbalize sounds wrong, or incomplete. I now write down what I am thinking/feeling during these episodes, even if it is just for me.
Calling your Therapist is really hard (see my above posts) BUT -- what might work is calling to say "I had this really painful episode but I discovered something and I don't want to lose it before tomorrow's session. I just wanted to tell you about it." Then you can take a breath and know you will be talking about it very soon. This alone can be grounding.
Ok, so it is easier to offer advice and support than it is to receive them. :) I'm thinking about you.
-D
poster:DaisyM
thread:271826
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031011/msgs/271838.html