Posted by pinkeye on October 10, 2003, at 18:12:31
In reply to Re: How to overcome transference, posted by karen_kay on October 10, 2003, at 17:47:25
> I too have that problem. But, I am not so sure that I percieve it as such a problem. My therapist seems to think so. He believes that I tend to define love in terms as fatherly and I am just looking for someone to take care of me. And my reply is so what? Why is that a problem? Is that really a problem?
The reason it is a problem from my personal experience is that, if you look for your father in your partner, then romance gets to be difficult. You want to look up to that person, but whereas he is infact your partner. So either you or the other person or both of you stop getting attracted to each other romantically. Another reason it is a problem is, you might get attracted to a person as you think he would be a nice figure as a father, but that person may not want you as a child. He might only treat you as a child, and you will end up getting disappointed because he doesn't get romanitcally attracted to you. So you will get a lot of more disappointment, it has happened to me.
>Is there something wrong with me if I defien love in terms of more of a fatherly role than a romantic role? Hmm... looks like I may be looking at a few more months in the chair with the cute shrink, eh? What is yoru thought on this?? Suggestions? Wishing my shrink wasn't married. It is funny, I finding myself thinking that I quantee he is a wonderful father and sometimes wish he was my dad. At the same time I am very attracted to him. Wish I oculd tell him all of these things but I am kinda embarassed. These thoughts seem a bit abnormal, hmmm? Thoughts, suggestions, or comments?
Even I have the same feeling.. I think he would be a wonderful person to look up to and I like to listen to what he says.. but on the other hand, I am romantically attracted to him also..
poster:pinkeye
thread:267871
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/268022.html