Posted by Poet on October 3, 2003, at 17:03:49
In reply to Why can't I cry?, posted by HannahW on October 3, 2003, at 14:50:04
Hi Hannah,
I rarely cry, either. Yesterday when I came close to quitting therapy I didn't cry until I was in my car. I didn't head home until I stopped crying because my husband has only seen me cry once: when my cat died. That was 8 years ago.
There are many times when I wish I could cry to get the emotional release it brings. I wish I could just let go and cry when I need to, especially in therapy. I mean, that's the one place where it is definitely okay to cry.
Now that I am staying in therapy, maybe when we figure out how I can get self esteem, we can work on why I keep my emotions deep inside me. Hmm, maybe that's why I have no self-esteem? There's no room because I store all those tears?
Therapy is hard, it's why I came close to just giving up. I have trouble with emotions and when my therapist touches on something painful I just clam up. Sit there like a deer caught in the headlights. Wanting to cry, but I can't. Or wanting to run, but I'm afraid. Then we play stare down until she changes the subject. We have one thing that even she now refers to as "what you can't talk about." I think she says that thinking I'll suddenly start blurting it out, but I don't.
Sigh.
I hope it helps you that you have a sister in therapy issues. This site is definitely helping me and I only found it a few weeks ago.
Poet
poster:Poet
thread:265259
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/265294.html