Posted by MJC on October 5, 2002, at 21:39:45
I've just been reading over articles concerning being Hyper Manic. This is what my Doctor now claims that I am. It's just a really confusing cycle to try and pinpoint exactly what kind of anxiety disorder I have in order to treat it.
Anyways, for a person that is hyper manic it says that that person is always going through highs and lows. I've been through depression before (after my Mom's death for a number of years) but I can honestly say I haven't been depressed for an extended period of time in over two years. However, my anxiety is through the roof. It's always there, it's just that some days are better than others. On my good days (without medication) I just have this feeling like the world is going to end and that I'm being physically and mentally torn apart. On my bad days I have viscious panic attacks. I don't seem to have any lows though, or any periods without at least some anxiety. Could I possibly by hypermanic? Or is there something else that we're skipping over all together?
At first we thought it was GAD, but my anxiety is way too severe to be that. Then we thought that I had a mild form of aspergus syndrome (high-functioning autism). After going to a conference with my Doctor and hearing her talk to her Colleagues about it, we're both certain that it can't possibly be that either. In the past, when I was sort of well, I had absolutely no problem functioning like a normal person. Through my College years I even tutored students with learning disabilities for about 2 years. Therefore, I can communicate fairly well with other people. When I talk to people, I don't talk "at" them, but I talk to them. The only real sign that it could have been Aspergers Syndrome was because I tend to go through phases. I'll get interested in a little hobby and then follow it obsessively till it tires me out. Once I've learned just about everything there is to learn about it, I move on to something else.
One other point to add, this is something that I've just recently found out since my Mother has been deceased for almost 8 years, she suffered from a bi-polar disorder as well. She was mildly manic depressive. Meaning that she didn't extremely jump to highs and lows but she did have many peaks and valleys. For example, when I was young, fell, and hurt myself, my Mother instinctly panicked, started crying hysterically, and had to get my Dad home from his job (which was about 20 minutes away) in order to drive "us" to the hospital: me to get stitches, her to get sedated. The doctor that is now treating me also treated her in the past, more for depression without medication, but she did take note of her mood swings. Some days she would come in and be absolutely happy, everything was fine in the world. Other days she would be absolutely miserable and close to tears though everything was as fine those days as they were the days in which she seemed overly happy. I know sometimes that these kind of disorders are passed on through the genes.
Any recommendations on this would be greatly appreciative. I'm really interested in find out the root cause of exactly what I'm suffering from so that I know what I'm dealing with. This disorder has become almost too much to bear; at the moment I'm basically out of work being supported by an absolutely wonderful and understanding family and basically being freed from any source of stress untill I'm able to get this disorder underneath my control. My Doctor has also been wonderful and has been explaining in detail exactly what she thinks is going on here, at which point I tend to spend a couple of days doing my own research on it.
So if anybody knows a few things that I'm missing out on here, I know I must be missing a hell of a lot since I was never interested in this type of thing untill it basically consumed my life. Anyways, any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance,
Mike
poster:MJC
thread:1226
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20020829/msgs/1226.html