Posted by calamityjane on July 31, 2008, at 11:54:40
In reply to Re: Suicide » calamityjane, posted by Dinah on June 16, 2008, at 11:35:14
Thanks, Dinah, for your post. I intended to respond much sooner, but just have not been back to the boards in awhile.
I have a 7 year old daughter, and while she is most certainly not my sole reason for living, she brings LIFE into my life. I wonder who she will be when she grows up, and I dont want to miss a moment of her life.
I guess those are the feelings I am relying on, when I ask how he possibly could have left me.
I could never leave her -
I do wonder very much so what it felt like to be him. I want to know if his pain was worse than the pain I now have because of him. That is just something I never will get the chance to know.
People tell me that depression is terrible. But I think knowing that your very own parent CHOSE to leave permanantly is just as terrible a feeling, if not worse. - my dad left me and he knew he was NEVER coming back. I was 5.
Its hard for me to not feel bitter towards suicide. I am furious that it exists. I sm furious that God gives us that option to check out early. God put me here in this world that he made - a world where children depend on parents. I did not ask to be born into a world like this one - so how could God possibly give MY father the option to leave me?
poster:calamityjane
thread:833136
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20070414/msgs/843247.html