Posted by nomadjones on May 9, 2008, at 8:49:31
In reply to Re: Adolescent Loss of Parent: Effects in Adulthood? » nomadjones, posted by zenhussy on May 8, 2008, at 14:42:07
Zenhussy:
Thanks a lot for the great recommendations! I picked up "The Loss That is Forever" last night and have only begun reading it, but was quite struck with how she says that in a child's universe, losing one parent is like losing half the world and is a catastrophe (subjectively to the child's psychology - no actual comparison intended) on the scale of war and genocide. As mentioned above, I read a lot (probably too much) about the Holocaust and the Gulag. This paragraph from the book was spot on, having lost my father at 15 traumatically: "For one man whose father died when he was 15, the Holocaust has become the standard against which all other tragedies are measured... As an adult he has often wondered why the Holocaust has such a strong reference for him, since no one in his family was touched by its devastation. It has become a very personal image, an image of total loss and total catastrophe against which all other events must now be judged, an image that resonates with his own experience of the premature death of his father." I look forward to learning more about myself from the book and hopefully beginning to heal some old deep wounds.
In case anyone else is following this thread or finds it in the future, Zenhussy's recommendations led me to a couple of other books I have not read yet. "Never the Same: Coming to Terms with the Death of a Parent" by Donna Schuurman is on the subject of childhood grief and its effects into adulthood. For women, there is "Motherless Daughters" by Hope Edelman.
I wish you all peace, Nomad
poster:nomadjones
thread:827414
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20070414/msgs/828147.html