Posted by rjlockhart on June 2, 2007, at 4:26:49 [reposted on June 2, 2007, at 12:52:20 | original URL]
I have never cried so hard in, because of fear - intense where you are paralzed, feel errieness, holding on to something that i cant descibe, i few momenets ago i had the most feeling i cant describe the depth of fear
Its 4:12am in the morning, i thought there where spirits of danmation on my house, i cannot even put this into words, it was so intense.
I was on the couch i couldnt move, i didnt see anything but i felt there was something many things that where here, and i know all about schizophrenia, i dont know, but what ever it was it was an horrid expereince. I felt i was in hell for 5 seconds, let me tell you, that 5 seconds was the most worst period of danmation i have felt, never will i ever forget it.
I just god the guts to just say "GOD" "CHRIST" help!, i turned on the tv and turned it to a channel where it was showing god's love, it was some program, but it was the most buitiful thing i saw after this aftermath of hell.
I couldnt stop crying it was so warm and buuety, and love, i said my heart to god out loud.
Please never let me be in this evilness again, i spoke out how glad that i was that god created me, even thoguht i have said to him in the past why was i put here?
I cant describe, im so emotional right now, the warmess of god. Im safe, in his name.
Im on Xanax, Temazepam, all these drugs to suppress fear, i just realize what about god?
What will i do in the future? what will i say that condridics what i just said? that i need something to help with this or this or this.............
The lord will make you strong.
Please here me, i just want you to know that.
Im goign to to bed.
Please read this. At least i have found something that i know that He will get me throught this.
Matt
poster:rjlockhart
thread:760902
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20070227/msgs/760902.html