Posted by Jost on August 24, 2006, at 23:17:06
In reply to Re: An odd pattern of behavior » Jost, posted by llrrrpp on August 24, 2006, at 10:59:50
Ll, you do have a great temperament. Even if sleep-smothered. I'm sure it emanates from under the covers.
Your post about your husband and yourself really touched me a lot. It must be so great and, at the same time, sad to have someone who's like that. Cause they go away, and you go away, and you can't protect them from things.
My SigO is kind of an anxious reminder of the undone/should-be-done, with a heart of gold. A very caring one, but also prone to forget that if you keep growling at someone to do things that you think they'll be glad they did, but that they aren't doing, they may start to feel bad. Esp. when the growling is accompanied by grimaces of annoyance, and such.
SigO is also a very contrary person. So if one says, abb, Sig will immediately say, BBa. and then if one says, "hunh??: you now say BBa? when yesterday you not only said abb, but claimed that abb was substantiated by incontrovertible evidence, or was based on a story in the Wall St. Journal, & on & on--so, hunh, how can you say that?" to which Sig generally responds with profound vacancy. Emptiness not of profound thought, however, but profound incomprehension or indifference. Sig insists there is no deafness involved. Sig is merely "thinking"-- however, as it turns out, this thinking, if allowed to ripen, matures into complete silence. Followed eventually by some sally, such as, so, have you done x (some onerous task) yet (despite the known fact that I've haven't done x); or, where are my keys?
But Sig's feelings are also easily hurt, particularly by my going on and on about Sig's many failings, which I also have a peculiar weakness for dissecting, in excruciating detail. Which leads to remarks about my overreacting, be paranoid, or otherwise failing utterly to do what anyone in their right mind would do, after having fallen out of bed.
We do love one another a lot, though. We seem to belong together, although sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be accepted more, and feel warm and really connected (ie not connected through struggle and ambivalent push-and-pull -ism). It sounds really like a wonderful thing.
Thanks for reading through my rambling-- this one (if you did) and the last one.
I do feel very happy for you. I'm sorry you and your husband can't be together all the time.
Sleep secure in the knowledge that you temperament floats over you-- until your provigil arrives, when it can become a more active force for good.Jost
poster:Jost
thread:678985
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060725/msgs/679831.html