Posted by finelinebob on August 24, 2006, at 20:56:31
In reply to Re: Sustaining self esteem within depression » finelinebob, posted by cecilia on August 24, 2006, at 3:00:50
> What's the point?
"Never never never quit" -- Winston Churchill
There's not just one theory of depression or of how the brain works. Even within subdisciplines of psychology, there are different approaches to treating depression and neurological disorders. Go to the Psychology board. Start a thread. Describe what your therapy was like; ask others if they've had different approaches with their T.
You have choices. You may be too tired or disillusioned or broke or whatever to realize that. But you do. So before making one, use your peers here to help you educate yourself as to the possiblities. And if you try something new and you don't think it is working for you after a month or two, then stop. Come back, get more information. Try something different.
> YOU have friends and are still depressed.
Of course I am! I'm of Irish descent after all. Some Irish consider depression their national pasttime right behind football, or was it drinking. Or football AND drinking.
Until someone develops some gene therapy that will rewire my brain, I will be depressed. And anxious. And ADD. And OCD. And agoraphobic. And I'll probably be dealing with the consequences of PTSD for the rest of my life, too.
Maybe what turned me around was that I hated myself so much I wanted to give nothing to myself. So I started giving to others. There's great healing power in giving without any expectation of payback of any type. It's what got me started down the path -- YMMV.
It's hard, if not impossible, to have hope when you are so convinced that there is no good inside you. I believe that at their cores, all people are essentially good. You don't need to change your SELF. You may need to change your point of view. You may need to change your behaviors. But trying to be someone you are not -- you're right, it'll be fake and people will see it as such.
You already know the "magic secret to friends and love". It's buried under years of lies, from others, from yourself, probably even from that ridiculously expensive T who could do nothing for you. I can't say that I know how you feel or where you're at or what road you need to take -- no one knows those things but you. But you have to have faith (forget about an ounce of "proof") that that goodness is there, and you need to find a different path than what you've taken so far.
poster:finelinebob
thread:668295
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060725/msgs/679762.html