Posted by finelinebob on August 15, 2006, at 3:40:04
In reply to stuck, posted by llrrrpp on August 14, 2006, at 23:18:36
I'm ABD -- educational psychology from one of the top 5 programs in the country. Even got a job as an assistant professor still ABD. The dean said the school would do anything they could to help me finish that stupid paper after my second year, but I bid them hasty lumbago and took off, never looking back.
I'd realized I was going after what everyone told me I was best at. I gave up on what I really wanted to do as an undergrad and settled for teaching, something I'm really, really good at. And I know why people learn, and I know how to teach people so they know how people learn, and I'm better at doing those things than just about anybody around ... I know that because my friends and faculty in my program pretty much told me so, and as a group they're all pretty dang smart themselves.
There's a line from the song "Eye of the Hurricane" by David Wilcox:
"When you lay your dreams to rest you can get what's second best, but it's hard to get enough"That's where I was. At the end of the road of what was second best, and there just wasn't any more that I could get from it. I tried pure research -- running an NSF grant for a non-profit. I tried going back into the K-12 system. There was nothing left for me.
I don't know if that's the case for you. A lot of people walk away from their PhDs for a lot of different reasons. My dad is ABD as well, for different reasons than mine.
But are you still there because the next place down the road is NOT where you want to be?
If you still want to head down that path, then learn from that new cohort coming in. Try to see with their eyes, hear with their ears, grasp that energy you have when you take your first step down a path that holds so much hope. You'll have positive experiences to share with them in exchange.
If you don't want to take that next step, don't. The world won't come to an end. Not completing a PhD is not a failure. It's a decision. And for a lot of people, it's the right decision. It certainly was for me.
"Dream another dream, this dream is over" -- great, quoting Van Hagar for a reality check and perhaps some inspiration, but it may be what you need. You CAN dream new dreams ... and the seeds are probably already there, waiting for you to look their way and give them a little TLC.
poster:finelinebob
thread:676530
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060725/msgs/676578.html