Posted by finelinebob on August 15, 2006, at 0:42:21
In reply to Re: Low self esteem, the biggest source of problem, posted by elanor roosevelt on July 23, 2006, at 11:14:14
Does low self-esteem cause your problems? or do your problems cause low self-esteem?
The answer, of course, is yes.
About 20 years ago, I met one of the most fascinating people I've ever had the pleasure to know. Once we started dating, we had two months of bliss followed by two months of confusion then two months of anger and recrimination leading to a nasty break-up.
It took some time, but I did realize what I had lost in terms of her friendship, in spite of all the animosity that went on between us. Long story short: I found her phone number (thanks to Switchboard.com) and called her -- mostly at the time to say how sorry I was about how I had treated her.
She was shocked -- not just in hearing from me after so many years but in her own memory of our parting, she recalled things completely different from me and shut me up when I wanted to detail all that I did. But we had a good long talk, and we both came to realize that yes, true friendships are forever -- no matter what tantrums or distances or years might get in the way.
It can be especially hard if you have a small, tight-knit group of friends. If you're interested in someone and express it, the dynamics of the group are bound to change whether she's interested or not. But things would change if anyone in your group brought someone "in from the outside" because of a relationship.
When all is said and done, tho, it's just like Lotto: you can't win if you don't play.
Even more like the Lotto: it's not the end of the world if you lose. Don't beat yourself up over it. But if you win ... make the most of it.
poster:finelinebob
thread:664711
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060725/msgs/676566.html