Posted by Gee on April 5, 2007, at 14:19:12
In reply to 7 yr old, fe with attitude, posted by karen_kay on April 5, 2007, at 7:17:01
KK, how is school going for her? Could she possibly be getting bullied? The grades slipping could be a sign of that. And it might explain the attitude at home. Take the hurt out on people that will love you no matter what kind of thing...
With the picking out clothes and such, try giving her options. Pick out two outfits, and then let her choose. Maybe get her in on the helping to pick out meals. Don't give her too many choices (I'd say 2 or 3 at the max), but help her feel like she has some say in her life. You could always start with things like "Would you like carrots or corn tonight?" Or if you plan the meals out in advance, set out the meals you were planning on having, and have her decide veggies, condements, etc. and which night you'll have the meal. And then if she says "I don't like this, this is yucky" you can come back with the "Well you picked it out, and if you don't feel like eating it right now, we can save it in the fridge until you get hungry."
Maybe start a reward chart of types? It could be a family thing. Sit down with the family (including your niece) and write out certain "good turns" that get a gold star. Whenever anyone in the famioy see anyone else in the family doing one of these things (such as saying thank-you, listening... whatever you find are the big problems, but be VERY specific)they put a gold star on the chart.. Or make it a before bed thing, or dinner time thing. Everyone says what good things they saw the others doing. Maybe have a list to write them down on during the day. I'd say instead of "rewarding" her bad behaviour, try rewarding her good behaviour, and almost ignoring her bad. Don't give her attention for it.
I don't know... If you want more ideas, feel free to bmail me. I've seen a ton, and a ton of different methods work with different kids. Let me know how it goes!!!!!
poster:Gee
thread:747153
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20070211/msgs/747251.html