Posted by All Done on October 3, 2006, at 16:10:52
I'm guessing not, but...
We've had such difficulty with our four-year old son and separation anxiety. It ebbs and flows, but I can honestly say, I haven't gone two weeks in a row since before he could talk without having trouble dropping him off at daycare in the morning. Yesterday was the worst in a long time. He was screaming and crying for me to stay with him. It was terribly sad for both of us.
I feel like it sometimes starts out as a bit of a test on his part to see what I'll give in to and how long he can get me to stay. I think I've seen hints of a devilish grin from time to time. But, by the time I'm really ready (needing) to leave, he has himself so worked up about it, he can no longer control his emotions and starts furiously pulling his lip and eventually ends up crying and the teacher has to physically keep him in the room.
It's never been such an issue when his dad drops him off, but he's recently started travelling more often again and can only bring our little guy to daycare occassionally. That said, I think the fact that his dad is travelling more is part of his anxiety. Plus, he's recently switched to a different classroom. Again, though, we've always had difficulty.
So, I talked to the center director who provided the name of someone who works through the county but with families to provide resources and referrals for children with various issues. He's going to come over on Thursday night and talk at greater length with us, but I believe he's already made up his mind that it's my fault and I need to look at what I'm conveying to our son and change my behavior appropriately. He asked early on in the conversation if I'm an anxious person and I answered affirmatively. After that, each time I tried to explain what I've done to help my son, he responded with a comment about me needing to reflect on how I'm feeling about leaving him at daycare.
Okay, okay. I hear ya, dude, and I'll take a lot of the responsibility, but I've tried really hard to keep myself in check and be completely aware of how hard it is for me while still reassuring my son that I love him, I'll miss him, but I'll be back. Some of you may know (and even have suggested) the different ways I've tried working with my son on this. I believe I've tried every trick in the book. I just feel too aware of what's going on to say I'm completely responsible for my son's feelings. Or am I? Have I screwed him up already? He's a sensitive kid. Too sensitive?
It'll be interesting to see what this guy has to say or recommend. He seems nice enough. I just wish he'd reserved some of his judgement until after he really got a chance to talk with and see us. Fortunately, I see my own wonderful T tomorrow night. I know he'll help me get back at least a bit of my confidence in my parenting abilities before Thursday night.
Thanks for listening.
Laurie
P.S. I don't really believe it's all my fault. Mr. Counselor needs to know me a little longer than five minutes before he can convince me of that. ;)
poster:All Done
thread:691549
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20050817/msgs/691549.html