Posted by fairywings on August 29, 2005, at 10:40:14
My daughter is a great kid, always has been. Good grade, good friends, and pretty respectful. She doesn't have a lot of common sense - street smarts, sometimes has trouble setting boudaries with others, but generally has good judgement, even if she doesn't use it. Anyway, Friday she got to go to her first high school football game. (Today is her first day as a freshman) Before she left, she was wearing a spaghetti strap shirt that she wore all summer around the house, around her friends, and around her boyfriend - who I love and trust. Well, I told her she wasn't wearing it to the football game, and to go change. She's got an awesome figure, and she's well developed. I don't want ppl looking at her, and I know some will. I didn't see her again before she left. I trust her, and assumed she'd change. Her dad took her and her friends to the game, and I'd told him that I'd told her to change. I explained my reasoning, and he said he understood and agreed.
Later, when I was out with my other daughter, I found out she hadn't changed. I called my husband and asked him what happened, and he didn't have a reason. I was so mad I blasted him. I still think I was right her, so no point in disagreeing with me on this, he was an idiot to let her go after I'd told her to change.
When she got home she had a tee shirt on over the one I told her to change. She bought it at the game. I don't think she knew they'd have tee shirts. Anyway, I told her she'd made a bad choice and that she was grounded the next day. No big deal, but she made it into a federal case, and said that I didn't trust her, that she had every intention of buying a tee shirt to put over the one I told her to change, and that I can't protect her from ppl looking at her.
How much freedom do you give your teens? I do trust her, and I don't want this to be a terrible phase for all of us. I think she has no idea how scary things can be out there, do I let her find out on her own, w/in limits? Her dad and I did decide no decisions are made w/o consulting the other. Geesh!
fw
poster:fairywings
thread:548093
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20050817/msgs/548093.html