Posted by pullmarine on October 18, 2000, at 4:28:01
In reply to help for my 18 year old, posted by amyw on October 15, 2000, at 22:29:38
1. Is your son working or studying?
If not I'd suggest you encourage him to work as a volunteer with either AIDS patients or handicapped kids.
This has had a number of benefits for me.
a. It forces me to get out of the house
b. It provides me with structure
c. It makes me feel useful and needed and appreciated
d. It puts my problems into perspective.
e. It forces me to be social2. Do not coerce, blackmail, or manipulate your son. Do not let him coerce, blackmail or manipulate you.
3. Be frank, direct, upfront, and do your best to talk to him on a rational level.
4. Ask questions and listen
5. refrain from giving advice, cf. 4. Do listen.
6. Get some info about suicide prevention and make sure your familiar with warning signs, as well as the do's and don'ts of suicide prevention techniques. Following the guidelines is very hard if your in a close relationship with the person, so keep a cool head if you see such a situation arise.
7. Give your son the space and time he needs to come to terms with his personality (I don't like the term illness)
8. show a great deal of respect, understanding and empathy, but place strict limits in order to protect yourself as well as your son.
9. Let him know that ultimatly, his recovery depends largely on personal efforts on his part, but that you will be there for guidance and support, no matter what.
10. Three hugs a day never hurt anyone (unless he feels withdrawn)
and finally, get him a copy of All I really Needed to Know I learned in Kintergarden.
Best of luck to you. and all my love and support.
JOHN
PS. did I mention 'ask questions and listen'?
poster:pullmarine
thread:31
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20000813/msgs/33.html