Posted by liliths on December 10, 2006, at 16:32:50 [reposted on December 10, 2006, at 23:43:16 | original URL]
In reply to Re: just a quick update » liliths, posted by Quintal on December 9, 2006, at 13:49:49
Hi Q
you're right about the self-esteem issue. The hardest thing about this ordeal was having my rights violated, losing more control over my own life... the experience itself was also very shaming
I think some of my interest in kratom has a lot to do with simply wanting to not be told what I can or cannot take. I am aware there may be a huge difference in advertised strengths vs actual. It will be interesting to try it as well as the oxycintin spray - I'll keep you posted on it all, if you like.
I'm not feeling very optimistic about my future at the momentbtw, I did order that sample pack - I figure what the hell :)
I'll have to call my pdoc tomorrow to tell him about the latest news - that I have no standing to change things as they are and have to accept their terms if I want the damn license. And I'll have to look into employent attys for the discrimination suit
to be honest, I don't want to do any of it... I'm going to have to push myself on this. And that includes trying to find other meds.
I hope I am functional if and when I do get a license. I won't pretend I am still the person I was when I passed my boards and first applied. I've lost a lot of momentum, confidence and belief in my ability to actually have a worthwhile life again... and getting that was a hard one battle to begin with. It took giving up a lot of other things I haven't been able to regain in myself...
oh my, I really dislike whining like this - so sorry!
I know self-pity can be awfully unattractive as well as frustrating for other peoplethanks for listening
namaste,
lilith> I think you'll like the Kratom ;-) Can't say for sure about the oxytocin spray since I haven't tried it, but I hope it is effective. Please keep me posted.
>
> I'm thinking it would be possible to detect mitragynine, the main active alkaloid in Kratom, in a urine test if it were analysed in a lab. There are no standard tests that would identify it as yet and none likely to be in the near future. There is little they could do about it even if you were to test positive for mitragynine for some reason since it is not a controlled substance in the US according to Erowid and other sources: http://www.erowid.org/plants/kratom/kratom_law.shtml.
>
> I hope you do go on to get your license and practice anyway - perhaps while mentally holding the middle finger up at the people who tried to deprive you of everything you've worked for? I'm not sure about long-term efficiency of either Kratom and oxytocin spray, and the same goes for hydrocodone, but I guess you may have more self-esteem to help you cope better when you are back in work in any case?
>
> Have you thought about discussing these things with the pdoc? I wouldn't expect him to be suportive given the things you've said about him, but you never know.
>
> Q
poster:liliths
thread:712379
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/alter/20061203/msgs/712399.html