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please join me

Posted by Dr. Bob on January 10, 2013, at 3:58:09

Hi, everyone,

I feel disappointed that I wasn't a more effective teacher of civility. Let's try something more actively supportive. People tend to feel supported when others join them. One way to join someone is:

1. Express what you think they're saying.

2. Give them a chance to say whether they feel joined/supported or not. If not, one or both of you can try again to clarify the communication.

3. Build on what they said using your own experience (an I-statement). That gives others a chance to join you, which keeps the ball rolling, support-wise.

If you don't feel able to join, that's fine. Let the thread develop, and you might later. Or start a new thread with something different from your own experience.

Any questions?

I'd like to give this a try. Anybody else?

Bob


a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind -- The New York Times
backpedals well -- PartlyCloudy


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poster:Dr. Bob thread:1035157
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20130109/msgs/1035157.html