Posted by 64bowtie on July 10, 2008, at 17:07:06
In reply to Re: Posting, listening/understanding responses » 64Bowtie, posted by Toph on July 8, 2008, at 10:35:11
A little background:
All 200+ 12 step programs have traditions that are basically the same with adapted wording here and there, read by a volunteer in the 1st 20 minutes of a 90 minute meeting. Anonimity is the core and the lifeline of all programs (like "be civil" is herein), "Ever reminding us to place (program) principles before personalities (egos)".Anonimity is a written and shared tradition. "Respect for order and respect for time" are unwritten traditions passed on during sponsorship interactions. Also unwritten is the tradition that only members who have progressed through their 4th & 5th steps guided by their sponsor(s), may in turn become a sponsor for others.
E.G., it took me 2 years of 3 to 5 meetings per week to find my way out of my own messy "swamp" of feelings and aborant behaviors, in order to share my 5th step with my sponsor. It was a 5 hour marathon sitting in a back booth at the local McDonald's while drinking refill after refill of McDonald's coffee. 20x20 hindsight is simple; my sponsoring others would have been abysmal before then.
Addressing the question of conflicts:
there are some willful wannabees that try to take over meetings, disrespecting order, that are quickly shut down by the "Old-Timers" if the meeting is large enough (20 plus members). In a meeting where only 5 or 6 folks show up, I've seen the (voluntary) leader quietly start closing things down to stop the meeting and the culprit in their tracks. A common practice is to end with everyone holding hands and reciting the "Serenity Prayer" out loud, and one time it was over the shouting of the bullying party; then everyone picked up their stuff and left, in silence.Respect for time implies need to show up before the beginning of the meeting and share 3 to 5 minutes, not droaning on attempting to control the sharing. Incidently, there is no "cross-talk" allowed. The bullying outbursts violate the no cross-talk rule, a part of respect for order.
I remind you I haven't been part of AA (likewise CA nor NA), where I here rumors that this behavior is more common and with more draconian responses from the old timers in an attempt to squelch it w/o violence.
Rod
poster:64bowtie
thread:838816
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080424/msgs/839164.html