Posted by SLS on June 27, 2008, at 10:16:56
In reply to NO MORE POSTS HERE OR I NEVER COME BACK, posted by muffled on June 18, 2008, at 19:57:35
> STOP.
> FULL STOP.You have strength. I've seen it.
Do you suppose that there is another way that you might choose to respond to upsetting remarks without hurting yourself? The key word is CHOOSE. Wouldn't leaving PB be a sort of self-injury?
Perhaps you could take a "time-out" and not react so quickly to posts that you find upsetting. You can "sleep on it" for some number of minutes and deliberate your healthiest alternative before choosing your action.
As you said:
> STOP.
> FULL STOP.The person who has stopped here is you. You have stopped the support and growth experiences that are available here. Nobody can suggest to you how to feel. Feelings just are. Suggesting behaviors is a different story. Here, you do have choices.
FULL STOP? That can't be good. Perhaps FULL GO is equally deleterious. You have plenty of time between posts to think about what is best for you. Maybe you can continue to feel with your heart, but let your brain act as a filter and choice-maker. Mentally processing your behaviors and the behavior of others as you do now ALLOWS for hurt. You have the choice to establish your own boundaries or continue to allow others to set them for you. These boundaries reside in your mind. It takes work and practice to build new ones that do not leave you so vulnerable to the words of others. As things exist now, you are allowing others to determine your behavior. Wrestle back control. Let only yourself determine your behavior. You can help prevent the words of others from hurting you by being sure of who you are and what it is you want out of life.
If you have a problem with the behavior of another, my suggestion is that you contact administration privately. This alternative has been made available to you.
DON'T STOP or you will get stuck! Once you get stuck, it is harder to start moving again.
I haven't walked a single step in your shoes. I don't suppose I ever can. However, maybe I can convince you to keep your shoes on so that your feet don't burn and bleed while you continue to walk over the hot coals that you insist on doing.
I probably don't know what I'm talking about, but I hope I've come close.
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:834469
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080424/msgs/836750.html