Posted by Dinah on March 5, 2008, at 1:43:21
In reply to I am resigning as deputy, posted by Dinah on March 3, 2008, at 9:22:57
Everyone, I'm really sorry. I should have never posted any of this.
I was wasting so much of my time trying to decide what to do, and agonizing over it, and I just wanted to force myself into a decision. Because once I've posted it, I can't go back on it. I'd look ridiculous. I know this is the right decision. But if I didn't say so on board, I'd be likely crawling back and begging Dr. Bob to let me come back. Because that's who I am. I am terrified of change. I'm terrified of loss.
So that's why I posted it. Then people seemed to think I was mad at posters, and I tried to fix it. And I probably made things worse.
I'm sorry. I really am sorry. I don't know how to make a graceful exit. I never leave anything.
I really appreciate all the nice things people have said. I can't believe I forgot to acknowledge them. I can't tell you what it means to me. I have learned so much as Dinah, and I've received so much acceptance as Dinah.
I've tried to learn to keep my meltdowns off board over the years. And really they come far less often now than they used to. But I'm not doing so well, no matter how calm I may feel at times. And I've brought it on board, and I'm really very very sorry.
I'm sorry I'm being so dramatic. I hate being dramatic. I like being sensible.
poster:Dinah
thread:815915
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080204/msgs/816308.html