Posted by agent858 on June 5, 2006, at 1:17:38
In reply to I have been asked to come here and apologise, posted by NikkiT2 on June 5, 2006, at 0:56:50
hey.
i'm sorry i said what i did because it hurt you and i'm sorry i hurt you. i didn't mean to hurt you.
are you sorry you hurt me?
i think you are.
i could be wrong... but you said you *knew* it didn't hurt me... which seems to entail that you thought it wouldn't hurt me. so i figure that you didn't mean to hurt me.
> I still believe that my points stand though.
okay. i think there is a difference between stating a preference for an ideology / institution not be around and stating a preference for a person to not be around.
but maybe we can agree to disagree on that?
(i can't believe i'm saying that)
;-)
i'm sorry to hear about babblemails...
i want you to know i had no part in that.
that is something that happens sometimes on babble. people turn on alleged / perceived persecutors. that doesn't mean you are persecuting anyone. just means people perceive it to be the case.
and people turn.
they don't see it as turning.
they see it as supporting the person that the alleged persecutor is harassing...dinah?
drama triangle...
i have been known to do that.
lashed out at dinah before 'cause i thought she was trying to hurt me.
lash out at bob sometimes 'cause i think he is trying to hurt me too.
lashed out at you 'cause i thought you were trying to hurt me.then the trouble is that it can become a cycle.
dinah or bob or you could then lash out at me for hurting you
and then there is a cycle.
:-(
:-(
:-(supporting someone is one thing...
lashing out at someone in the name of 'support' is another.
i'm sorry nikki.
i'm sorry that you are hurting.
i'm sorry i lashed out at you.this doesn't excuse it...
but it goes some way toward making it understandable...
my mother used to lock me in my room and tell me i wasn't fit for human company. she would tell me that she wished i wasn't around.
blocks hurt me so much because they take me back.
and saying you wish i wasn't around...
(even if you don't mean it)
but the words on the page
the words on the page
is the most hurtful thing anyone could ever say to me.
and saying it to me when i'm blocked...
even to prove a point...
and i lost it and i'm sorry.and i'm not trying with the 'pity me' stuff...
it isn't about that.
i'm trying to explain so it seems a bit more comprehensible.
it doesn't undo what i said.
but i hope it goes some way towards making it understandable.like how you told us that you are in a lot of pain at the moment. i don't think a lot of people read the health board. i go there fairly rarely. i didn't know you were in a lot of pain.
but knowing that you are makes it more understandable that you could be feeling a lot irratible... knowing that you didn't get many responses makes it understandable that you could be feeling like people don't care.
but yeah sometimes you have to make a bit of noise so people notice you are hurting. fact. learning to ask for help / support appropriately is hard... it is.
i'm sorry you are hurting.
i'm sorry about the babblemails.
poster:agent858
thread:646675
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060525/msgs/653069.html