Posted by TofuEmmy on June 12, 2005, at 10:01:47
I figured something out. Remember Zen? I’m sure lots of you do. I’m writing this without her knowledge…or permission, but…well, I think she’ll understand.
I remember her anger at Dr Bob sometimes astounded me. I loved her, but couldn’t understand how his actions made her so furious. It didn’t start out that why – her anger built up over time until she was no longer able to control it, and ended her time here with a 48-week block.
But, ya know what? Now, I TOTALLY understand what happened to her.
Dr. Bob is a human who acts on his thoughts AND feelings. He runs this site, and makes all the rules. But, because he is writing rules regarding his opinion of something as nebulous as “civility”, the enforcement of the rules is not precise. Since he is human, he forms opinions of people, and those personal opinions DO impact the way he enforces the rules here. Yes, we all know there is favoritism. I have felt it myself when I was on the “good user” list. I’ve seen Bob let me and my friends get away with posts which others could not. And I surely didn’t complain about that.
But, over time….I have been moved to the “Bad User” list. This is probably related to my support of PsychCentral, and DocJohn. I know for sure that I am on the “Bad User” list, this because I no longer am protected here by Bob.
I issued a Do Not Post request to a user here. This user has now posted to me THREE times. I sent this information to Bob with all the url’s for him to view. Nothing happened. Imagine how that made me feel. Angry? Hurt? Unprotected?…definitely!
If someone on Bob’s “Bad User” list had posted to me after a DNP, he/she would have been at least PBC’d if not blocked. Imagine if Zen had done it, or if “so” had? The block would have come so fast, your head would spin.
See….this is how that version of Zen was born. When a woman who hates asking for help finally does reach out and ask, and she is ignored…it feels horribly degrading. Especially when this unfair treatment comes from a man. And most especially when the man is supporting another man who repeatedly broke the rules. Women who have been abused by men in the past are particularly sensitive to unfair treatment from men. It raises the hackles on our collective necks.
It made me VERY angry. I clearly felt “a new Zen is rising”! I understood exactly how her anger was built, and how it was encouraged by the actions, and inactions of Dr. Bob.
But, I can’t risk acting on that level of emotional energy. I wouldn’t live through it and survive as Zen has. I have to just tell myself that Babble is run by a human, not a computer. I will never expect fairness here. Until you’ve been on the bad list, you have idea what Babble is really like. You can’t live in the wealthiest neighborhoods your whole life, and really know the country you live in. You have to spend some time on the other side of the tracks, to know what a place is really like.
emmy
poster:TofuEmmy
thread:511407
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050530/msgs/511407.html