Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 30, 2005, at 19:37:13
In reply to Re: Rescinding a D.N.P request. » Gabbi-x-2, posted by alexandra_k on May 30, 2005, at 18:53:05
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> If I keep talking about stuff that you say it is because I find it interesting and stimulating and it prompts me to thoughts of my own...Okay that helps.
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> What I say is just my opinion.I think what everyone says is there opinion.
> As you noted.
> I guess I tend to write in an 'authoratative' style because that is how I have been taught to write.
> But I like to think that I am open to the idea that I am wrong, or have misunderstood, or whatever.
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> If you could help me out there then I could learn something from you.
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> You are free to ignore me, you know.
> If you don't like the way a conversation is going then stopping responding would be an effective way of getting me to drop it.That's part of what's so draining. When I'm continually being misunderstood, and never asked for clarification before being critiqued, I feel I have to respond to make sure it doesn't look to anyone like I've said something I never would say, and round it goes again.
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> I'm sorry you are feeling upset and frustrated.
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> But I'm not too sure what to do.
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> It is a little like last time...
> The problem there was about our disagreement over small boards. But I'm not going to stop saying what I think about them just because someone gets upset with what I have to say. I would hope that if I got upset with what you had to say - that you wouldn't just drop the topic because I didn't like what you were saying.No, we didn't have a problem there I think that was somone else. I had a problem when you pointed out that I was wrong in publishing an e-mail address to prove that I was being contacted when it had been said otherwise. And of course it would not be ethical but The e-mail address had been forged.
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> And that seems to be what is happening again...That's not been the problem with me. The problem is to "me" that you rarely mention how you would like to see things, or what you focus on, you suggest what others *could do*(which can infer that they haven't given full thought to a subject before they disagreed) To me, telling people what you do is an extension of the purpose of the "I" statement.
> >continually give me unasked for advice
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> Do I really do this?????
It feels that way to me. It's been suggested that I reword things, that I choose to focus somewhere else.. different ways of putting things. The whole "Made you feel" topic was something neither Minnie nor I were interested in discussing further. One post would be fine, but there were several. How I feel about it being suggested I "choose to focus" I wrote recently to Dinah about Dr. Bob's replyThe one which sticks in my mind most recently is when you "pointed out" on my post to Minnie how I could rephrase my sentence to:
*OR I responded to that by being offended* Which I would never say, partly because it's redundant. Where the He** did that come from? I'm fine with how I phrase things, and actually prefer to much of what I have read. I don't do it out of ignorance.
The "choosing to focus" may be okay once, but when it's suggested to me repeatedly I wonder if you think I haven't grasped the concept.
I've never ever had a problem with people disagreeing with me. In the beginning I welcomed your disagreements. However, I felt it becoming more of a lesson from you. It seems as if I don't clarify every possible thought I've had before I come to a conclusion, it's assumed I haven't had them.
I'm never asked if I had thought of something, it's indirectly suggested I have not. Maybe you don't do that purposely, that's how it comes across to me. I usually presume in the other direction, or ask.That's what I find exhausting, having to clarify what is a disagreement, and what is a lack of thought on the subject, and it hasn't seemed to work. I've tried the agree to disagree, but it seems that's not enough either, there's always one more comment, maybe the one that will change my mind? I don't know.
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> I don't know what to say.
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> I do feel a bit like you are requesting me to ignore what you have to say on a topic... That other people (who agree with you) are allowed to comment on that and make use of it with respect to what they think. But if anyone disagrees... Well then, what?That's one of those incorrect assumptions, and I'm not quite sure how you came to it. Do you think everyone always agrees with me? If not, why have I only asked for two DNP's? One of which was I implemented when I was feeling personally unsafe, and had nothing to do with a theoretical disagreement.
I learn much from those who disagree with me, directly or indirectly, it's the manner in which it's done. There are many examples of this on the board.
Why I'm offended and frustrated to the extent I am, I can't figure out. But I do need a break from it all right now.
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poster:Gabbi-x-2
thread:504559
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050530/msgs/505441.html