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Re: I-statements

Posted by Dr. Bob on April 13, 2005, at 9:21:07

In reply to Your hateful opinion » Dr. Bob, posted by used2b on April 12, 2005, at 21:11:08

> > > I often perceive human affection toward me as pretentious
> >
> > The problem there is "pretentious". When someone behaves pretentiously, how does that make you feel?
>
> Nobody makes me feel anything.

Sorry, I meant "make" as in:

2 c : favor the growth or occurrence of
http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?make

> you responded hatefully

Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused. If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil

> I often feel alienated when I witness routine social pretense

OK, so an I-statement would be:

> I often feel alienated when I perceive human affection toward me

> In face-to-face relationships, people generally know by the way my eyes track and fail to dilate responsively not to approach me with ... behavior others might consider affectionate.

Online, it can help to convey explicitly (while of course remaining civil) what you might non-verbally in person.

Bob


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050323/msgs/483674.html