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Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Phillipa » stargazer2

Posted by baseball55 on December 23, 2013, at 21:07:22

In reply to Re: addicted to depression - possible?/Phillipa, posted by stargazer2 on December 23, 2013, at 11:39:23

> Happiness is not something I can even think of when depression has its hold on me, that is so far off the radar it doesn't even occur to me to
> look for happiness. It would be great if that were to occur but I'm too focused on getting out from under the darkness.

When I was really in the pit a few years ago, my psychiatrist asked me if I had fantasies. I said I didn't. He meant, not elaborate fantasies, but just imagining a pleasant event in the future, like imagining visiting my daughter or going to a movie with a friend. Imagining being happy. And I realized that I didn't imagine that. I couldn't imagine being happy. All I could do was slog through each hour, push myself through each day.

Like you, I didn't even imagine happiness. Just surviving took all my energy.


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