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Re: help with new friend

Posted by Dr. Bob on February 9, 2013, at 11:34:14

In reply to Re: need help with new friend, posted by lindsey75 on February 8, 2013, at 19:55:38

Hi, everyone,

OK, that's a t*t for a tat. Looking back at what happened, it didn't help that novelagent made some mistaken assumptions. Also, "I-statements" might have helped. It tends to be more effective to talk about yourself than the other person. For example, instead of:

> also, come on, reduce your stimulant use. your hurried writing is absurdly unfocused

an I-statement could've been:

> also, come on, reduce your stimulant use. i find it difficult to understand your writing

and instead of:

> I can tell ... that you are a judgmental person
>
> Who also sits in his house and has nothing better to do then to try and insult someone he has never met and knows nothing about.

an I-statement could've been:

> I feel judged and insulted.

Bob


a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind -- The New York Times
backpedals well -- PartlyCloudy


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poster:Dr. Bob thread:1036332
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20130205/msgs/1037734.html