Posted by bleauberry on July 5, 2012, at 17:38:08
In reply to awe, wonder + spirituality needed for recovery, posted by linkadge on July 3, 2012, at 17:37:08
8 years of prozac and zyprexa certainly squashed my spirtuality too. I was numb to everything. I think that is one of the hidden evils of some drugs, in that if they remove your ability to feel spiritualism, then it is an evil drug. A drug that works that way basically gives them a numb empty life instead of a depressed life and an eternity as ashes. Might sound weird to nonbelievers, but actually a life of depression with spirituality with God and eternal life without illness is a far better deal than a few years of numbness.
Anyway, how to get it back? My opinion, we are powerless to get it back. But we can get ti back, and in ways far more powerful than ever before. It's just that we, on our own power and will, are not capable of making that happen. Spirituality itself is not something we own or can create, it is a gift from beyond. We cannot will it or manufacture it.
What I have seen work is this. We have to first be wanting it, open to receiving it, and then put ourselves in an environment where we have help in getting it. Many of the newer churches these days have worship teams similar to rock bands and they play worship music popular on christian radio stations. This is in contrast to the pipe organs and choirs most non-church people think of. Gather a list of churches, research them a bit to find what kind of services and music they have, and then go pop into several of them on a Sunday just to check out the scene and see if any place feels more comfortable to you than another. That's the spirit guiding you already.
You specifically want a church that does frequent altar calls and laying of hands. That is, people with problems are called to the front of the church at their own choosing, and others pray for them and maybe put their hands on your head and your body while praying for you. Even under the numbness of an ssri, one can get a glimps of distant goose bumps when this happens. That's the spirit trying to break through.
For me it took maybe 6 months of that on a fairly regular basis and one day it just dawned on me I had been saved somewhere along that journey. And I have been extremely spiritual ever since.
The story of Jesus is not a fairytale.
A good read for you, me, all of us here, is the single chapter of John. If one is looking for hope, healing, meaning, spiritual connection, promise....that's a great chapter to witness it and find it.
Ok, so none of the churches are appealing. Understandably that might happen. So flip a coin and choose one. Go there for a full service. Ask when they are going to have an altar call so you can be there for it. At this point, it's sort of like a seed just splitting open....more time needed but the process has begun. Sometimes however for some people, many people, it can be instantaneous.
God gave us the power to help others and He can work on us through others where we are not capable on our own, and I have literally felt the power of that through the prayers and hands of others circled around me. I did not purposefully go in the church by my own idea, but once I was there it was indeed me who made the decision to get up out of my chair and walk down the isle toward the altar when they called for the sick.
In terms of chemistry, I think those of us with ssri induced emotional flatness need to continually work from whatever angle we can find to help the norepinephrne and dopamine circuits.
For me the primary way to do that has been to counteract whatever toxins are in my brain competing with my norepinephrine and dopamine, likely lyme related, so that my own neuros can dock at their sites and do their job without competition from a foreign substance that sends wrong signals when in docks where my own neuros should have but couldn't. Lyme related herbs, most credit to Japanese Knotweed, have done more for me than 20 years of meds, probably because they all have broad spectrum mechanisms of countering inflammation, immune dysregulation, toxins, and microbes. Just my opinion, but I think the vast majority of depressions have one or several of those as the root cause.
In the process, the healing plants almost can't help but be spiritual, especially if we ask for blessings over our chosen herb and gives thanks for it, acknowledging that God created every one of them with a purpose and specifically for us to use.
In terms of being depression free I have a long way to go but I am better than I was, I cherish the healing opportunities we have, and I cherish having relationship with Jesus.
Life is a journey through the shadow of the valley of death. This is only a temporary stop for us. This is not our home. Through that journey, some of it dark and scary, there is One who knows the only way to the green grass on the other side, and I cherish my journey with Him. His name is Jesus, He is the direct link to God and spirituality. It's from Him, not from ourselves.
If I have to go through a rough world temporarily under the rule of evil, fine, I want the best partner to guide me through it. Jesus is that guide, and in fact is the only One. So I think it is awesome you are wanting to feel it again. Just don't hook up with the wrong spirit! There are many bad ones and imposters. And while you're at it, ask Jesus to remove all bad spirits from your body, your house, your property. We don't have the power to do that, but through Him we do have the authority to have Him do it.
If ever confused or not sure, which is me a lot of times, ask God for the wisdom needed because He does give it. Sometimes right away, sometimes with a delay, sometimes in ways unexpected, and sometimes obvious. In any case, without His wisdom, you and me and anyone of flesh are pretty much useless to fight our own battles because our enemy is just too powerful, too evil, and happens to be invisible.
Ask Jesus to bust down the wall that separates you from feeling Him. Whether anything seems changed after that or not doesn't matter, the ball has been set in motion.
poster:bleauberry
thread:1020794
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120630/msgs/1020889.html