Posted by morgan miller on February 28, 2011, at 20:05:34
In reply to Re: Ferber » morgan miller, posted by Dinah on February 27, 2011, at 21:21:05
>I suppose my main concern was the focus on depression in mothers as opposed to mothers, or parents, in general. But that point seems to be not in disagreement after your latest post and I am glad to see that.
Yeah sorry if I didn't make that clear from the beginning. It is all parents, both mothers and fathers with all kinds of "issues" that was/is my focus and concern. While I am not yet a parent and may never will be, I am very passionate about parenting, as well as psychology. Before my major breakdown 3 years ago, that I am still trying to recover from, I was getting ready to apply to grad school so I could get my master's in social work. I probably mentioned this at one point, it partially explains my passion and interest.
>I have gotten the understanding that you feel you didn't receive what you needed from your mother, and that she was a depressed mother? Was she a good and nurturing mother as you got older?
She had some real problems, including an inability to consistently connect in a healthy way. Her issues were very complicated. She only just experienced major depression for the first time a few years ago. This is because, as many of us do, she was suppressing the sadness and it was manifesting in other ways. My parents never got along great and they divorced when I was eleven. At this time, I became the little adult in the family and was like my mother's little therapist. She depended on me way too much. Throughout adolescence our relationship was rocky as she was not stable and her and my father had failed to give me, my older sister(who rebelled so I was the one who took on the oldest sibling role) and my bother the right balance of love and structure. So no, she never really grew in the way she needed so that she could try to make up for what was missing in the early years, I'm sure if she could have it would have helped. That's why I think it's great that you and FB and other mother's have the courage, strength and desire to face your demons and better yourselves for both yourselves and for the people you love.
I am really sorry if I said anything inflammatory that hit a wrong chord or two. I express my beliefs in a bit of a passionate way that may partially arise out of a bit of mania.
I don't know if I've been gracious. I kind of feel like I've been selfish throughout this conversation, pressing my beliefs on you and others. Thank you, you have been the gracious one here.
Morgan
poster:morgan miller
thread:979678
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110220/msgs/979947.html