Posted by morgan miller on October 17, 2010, at 11:49:32
In reply to Re: depression. questions on meds, symptoms, psycholog » SLS, posted by floatingbridge on October 16, 2010, at 13:38:16
>Scott, how did you ever do it? I sometimes ask my pdoc about balancing forgiveness, blame, anger, grief. Blame is an interesting phenomena. Actually, I've not looked up it's etymology. Lately, I'm
examining my need, impulse, tendency, ? to blame. Some therapist's encourage blame, and that maybe quite appropriate
and necessary case by case. I know I stumble on it. Yes, cause and effect. Of
course forgiving them (and God and the world) would include forgiving myself. Ah, perfectionism.A good therapist will help you understand the role your parents played in your development. They will show empathy and compassion. They do not want you to hold on to anger and continue to blame your parents. Instead, they want you to be able to heal through learning to have compassion for yourself, understanding that you were not just born this way and it is not your fault you have struggled with some things. Gaining understanding of how you were affected in your childhood will both give you the power to do something about it and let yourself off the hook for not being able to be better in some ways. A good therapist will also try to guide you in a way that helps you process and channel your anger properly so that it is not turned against yourself and affecting the way you feel and behave. The point of therapy is not to play the blame game, but to use the knowledge you gain to help you nurture yourself back to better health.
It's so true that in order to forgive others we have to also be able to forgive ourselves. Without forgiveness, we are just stuck in a state that will not allow us to move forward and heal.
poster:morgan miller
thread:965852
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20101009/msgs/966059.html