Posted by CareBear04 on October 12, 2009, at 23:45:58
Hi everyone!
Haven't posted in awhile, but the board is almost a great place to get some experience-based suggestions.
I saw a new psychiatrist today after not seeing one for awhile. I didn't officially terminate or anything; I just never called to make another appointment and when she finally called me, I just heading out of the country and left a message saying I would contact her when I returned. She was certainly nice enough, and I'm not really sure why I stopped going. I felt my mood slipping toward the end of the summer, but I'd also been super-busy and sleep-deprived, and I knew I would feel better if I got some rest and could finish this stupid project that has been hanging over my head for months. I think actually that the inability to finish things was actually connected to my not wanting to go back to her-- I guess I sort of blame her for not doing more to address it.
Aside from the obsessive/perfectionism, I've been feeling less like I need a pdoc or especially a therapist to help me deal. Maybe I've stopped looking for answers in a pill. But at the same time, I think I wanted someone willing to be more aggressive with meds. It's a weird tension-- I've come to believe that sometimes less is more, yet I get annoyed with drs that are conservative in their prescribing, sticking to tried and true meds and insisting on changing only one thing at a time, if at all. In the last seven or so years, I've been on countless combinations of pretty much every psych med that exists, at least the newer ones. At times, I've felt like the pdocs were seeking perfection more than restoration or that I was their guinea pig for the latest meds to come onto the market. For the most part, my best successes have been on the oldest of the old-- lithium, haldol, and benzos. And I've always been suspicious of drug company marketing and publications.
The appointment today was interesting. Given my experience with overprescribing, I was surprised by how I perked up at the mention of new drugs. But what really stood out to me was a question toward the end and where it led. He asked me--I don't know why--whether I'm shy. I answered that it was an interesting question because I was super outgoing in college but in the past few years, I've become much more introverted. I said that I hoped it's not a permanent personality change, and he said that it's treatable.
What did he mean by that? Was he responding to my concern about my personality change or suggesting that shyness is problematic and that it can be fixed with pills? How much of the prescribing these days is "cosmetic" in the sense that we're taking all the diversity out of people and flattening everyone into some idealized model of perfection?
CB
poster:CareBear04
thread:920752
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091012/msgs/920752.html