Posted by Cseagraves on February 6, 2009, at 18:21:18
In reply to No cure for Social Phobia ?, posted by tepi on February 5, 2009, at 22:32:11
Tepi,
I don't know how much help I can be, but here goes. I have severe GAD, panic and agoraphobia, which has led to depression. Have been through every ssri and nothing has worked as I seem to be hypersensitive to just about everything.
List of everything I have tried:
zoloft
paxil
lexapro
wellbutrin
effexor
remeron
seroquel
valium
zanaxNot sure what meds you have tried, but I am now trying the maoi Marplan. (I started a post below about it) Have just started so I cannot give alot of feedback as of yet.
I do understand how you feel. I had a great life before all of this started and am still determined to have one. On days when I feel like all has failed and that I am hopelessly incurable, I have to step back and know I can beat this. I have a wonderful family who needs me, so just wanting to end it all is not an option.
I have read so many books on anxiety and depression. Here's one thing that stood out in one of the books I read. Quit trying to control this illness, because it does not define who you are. Instead of feeling like you have to fight it everytime you feel this way, just go with it. Dare it to do it's worse and instead of thinking that you have to "fight" it, which will only make it worse, think of the word "float".
I take slow, long, deep breaths (breathe through your stomach, not your chest) I picture myself floating among clouds or floating on water. Don't concentrate about the future, just concentrate on getting through each day, one at a time.
I used to constantly get more depressed when I would worry about having to live the rest of my life this way, which was really not living, just existing. I have to be able to except missing out on things with my husband and kids because I cannot go far from my house. I am learning that for right now, I have to take care of me and get better. I have to take things in small baby steps now instead of worrying about what I am not able to do as of yet.
My son plays in a band and he is having his first gig this weekend, which I will not be able to attend. It breaks my heart and I have cried all day, but I know that at some point I will get to see him play. I will get there and you will to.
Don't beat yourself down. You have to stop that. You are allowing this illness to take you over. Try to take the time just to step out of your door. Look at the things around you. The trees, the grass, the sky, the sun (it helps if you can let it shine down on you). Breathe in the air that our universe provides us and know that we are all intertwined in this. Look at the stars at night and how glorious they are and know whatever created all of that is what created all of us. Just feel yourself "FLOAT".
What I am trying to say is to quit worrying about the bigger picture right now, that just puts more stress on you. I know it sounds cleche, but it's the little things.
I know that it feels easier to want to give up because you feel that nothing will ever fix this and that you will be miserable the rest of your life. It's just not so. I promise, that with time and effort, you will find a way to get past this.
Also remember and remind yourself that there is no quick fix for this. It will take time and patience. You might go through a slew of meds before finding the right one that works for you. Everytime a med as failed me, I would get so upset and depressed, but then I look around at what I have to live for and that is "I need to live for me first" and then I can worry about everyone and everything else.
You have a life that is worthy as do all of us here. It's good to vent here, because the group of people here and their posts have helped me realize alot and they have helped to keep me strong.
It's not so much that you have to accept this life, just go with it until you get it fixed. I know its frustrating, but you can do this!!
You may not have family and friends to depend on(believe me, I have found out who my true friends are during this period) Thats when I started reaching out to web-sites and chat rooms. It helps to find and talk to other people who know what you are going through. Another site you might try is www.anxietytribe.com.
Don't give up, because we won't give up on you.
Courtney :-)
poster:Cseagraves
thread:878364
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090203/msgs/878554.html