Posted by always_doing_laundry on October 23, 2008, at 9:55:28
I know this is probably one of those posts: "I want to quit taking my meds because I feel OK and maybe don't need them anymore (because they're working), and I just don't like being on meds for some reason (even though I don't notice side effects but *will* notice side effects from tapering)"
... But, I just have this impulse to stop the meds. I don't feel emotionally or physically bad. I'm just tired of feeling like a person who takes meds or needs to take meds.
I don't take that high of a dose, but I am aware that if I have a seizure from discontinuation or lack of therapeutic effect, that I will then pay consequences so far as driving and other privileges and whatever brain losses might be associated with that (or injury, should I fall or whatever). I'm aware that in the past, I had weird physical side effects that I thought were part of a downhill slide with anorexia, but turned out to be b/c I was trying to go off lamictal. I would have muscle weakness, extreme fatigue, emotional lability, weird sensitivities, taste perversions/preferences, tooth pain, cognitive fuzziness and word-finding problems, slurring of speech ... all of which *went away* when I went back ON the lamictal. I never had those effects titrating up. I never noticed any side effects. But I had a taper schedule, and even with the taper schedule, I was crazy. So, why would I want to be crazy and risk all the physical potentialities again.
Don't know ... just don't wanna be on meds anymore. Except, grudgingly, neurontin, because I have terrible neuropathy and I just can't stand the pain/freezing/burning/lead-footed sensations in my feet if I'm not on a minimal dose. I wish I could dump it, too. It's not entirely a stigma thing, b/c no one knows I take meds ... I don't shout it to the mountaintops. I just don't want to take them. Control? Crazy head? Some sort of episode?
Feedback? Insight? Experiences?
poster:always_doing_laundry
thread:858943
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20081016/msgs/858943.html