Posted by jbarton83 on August 9, 2008, at 14:20:38
I'm really desperate. I feel like I have tried almost everything and I've been having a serious episode of depression for almost a year now. I can work here and there. I start Parnate on Monday and I really feel like I am running out of options. Here is the document I created to take with me to a new psychiatrist I am seeing on the 26th.
Current Symptoms
* Lack of motivation
* I'm not sad, but I feel hopeless and desperate
* Weight gain (128lbs -> 195lbs)
* * Excessive sleeping (12-14 hours per night) - This stopped when I went off SSRI's
* Uncontrollable appetite - Also dampened by going off SSRI's
* Takes a lot of effort to move around or do anything - This cycles throughout the day
* Nothing is more than marginally pleasurable
* Little to no libido
* Sometimes anxious; lots of social anxiety
* Low self esteem and confidence
* Positive for recent Epstein-Barr infection in March (Mononucleosis)
Past Symptoms
Spring 1997: First two panic attacks; took Buspar for a week; no panic attacks until Spring 20021999-2000: Social anxiety and self esteem problems enough to quit highschool
Fall 2001: 5mm Kidney stone, left kidney, lithotripsy
Spring 2002:
* Polyuria (full bladder every 10 minutes for up to an hour with no fluid intake)
* Flashing lights around peripheral vision
* Anxiety, panic attacks, overreact to everything
* High blood pressure (160/100)
* Severe hypochondriasis (maybe because I was working in a medical clinic)
* Headaches, pain in center of head
* Lost 12lbs (140lbs -> 128lbs)
* Frequent cloudy urine and urinalysis showed proteinuria several times
* Started Zoloft 25mg and quit job. After a week most of my anxiety and other symptoms went away.
2002-2007: Able to work a job with little responsibility. Took some easy classes. Lots of episodes of low motivation, hypersomnia, and depression.2006: 5mm wide, 9mm long kidney stone, left kidney, lithotripsy
September 2007-Current: Very severe depression. Quit school, very erratic work hours (10-30 hours a week). Just so you know, I have what I consider a dream job. I work for a professor who is also a good friend. I work in my field which I love (computer programming), and I live next door to work. There's not much else that could make it easier for me to work. I just can't do it.
Current Medications
* Xanax 0.5mg PRN
* Albuterol inhaler PRN
* Starting Parnate on MondayRecent Medication
* Zoloft 75mg QD
* Adderall XR 30mg, changed to Adderall 10mg BID - This provided me with instant relief, but it was very short-lived. I did well on and off for about two months before it completey pooped out and just gave me headaches.
* Abilify 10mg QD
* Lamictal 25mg QD
* Emsam 6mg - 9mg -- I definitely felt something from this, but it did not resolve my problems. It made me clear-headed and gave me some energy, but I still felt like crap.
All medications tried for depression / anxiety* Zoloft 25mg - 100mg
* Abilify 5mg - 10mg
* Xanax 0.25 - 0.5mg, for emergencies
* Paxil 25mg (2003)
* Cymbalta (2005)
* Lithium 300mg BID, then later 600mg BID
* Prozac 30mg QD
* Abilify 10mg QD
* Adderall XR 20mg QD, then 30mg QD, then Adderall SR 20mg BID (with Zoloft and Abilify), then back to Adderall XR
* Wellbutrin (with Zoloft)
* Strattera (with Zoloft, for motivation / concentration)
* Buspar (in 1997)
* Lamictal (2008)
* Emsam (Just stopped)
* Pristiq - Only took for one day
* Requip - As a dopaminergic mood brightener (did not work)
Other notes:* I am very against taking an SSRI, SNRI, or mood stabilizer. I haven't tried trycyclics. I've only been on one MAOI (selegiline).
* My dad has mental problems, including depression, agoraphobia, and panic disorder. He is on disability. I fear this may be my fate. I've already contacted a disability lawyer.
On Monday I start taking Parnate. The blood pressure thing has me a bit scared, but I'll have some Procardia on hand.So here is what I would like some help with. Besides any random comments that might be useful, I'd like some people to address my idea of augmenting my therapy with an opiate. I strongly believe my problem lies not with my monoaminergic system, but somewhere else. I did get significant relief from my depression last December when I was taking Lortab for pain from having four teeth extracted. I don't care which one I am put on, and I read there are some that are less likely to produce a euphoric effect, which is fine with me. I'm not looking to get high, I want to feel normal and go to work and school. I live in Columbia, Missouri. I'm willing to drive to St. Louis, Kansas City, Springfield, or basically anywhere within a 5-hour radius for treatment. I need to find a doctor who would be willing to put me on a trial of opiates to see if it provides me with some relief, if there are no other ideas. My doc thought the idea was ridiculous despite my mentioning of the article in the American Journal of Psychiatry about people who have achieved long-term remission from opiate augmentation.
Any other comments about my medication, symptoms, and pursuit of therapy will be appreciated, and thanks for your time.
James
poster:jbarton83
thread:845173
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20080805/msgs/845173.html